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From The Assistant to the COO March 17, 2008

Posted by amberpeace in Uncategorized.

Dear People Applying For Jobs,
When you see an advertisement for a position you feel qualified for, or your friend suggests a job to you, please apply for the employment. Nothing makes a person feel more accomplished than knowing they are contributing to the greater good of humanity. In fact, I’ll give you some tips on helping you get your job.

The person on the other side of the computer could possibly not be your future boss. In fact, the chances are high that there is an “Assistant to So and So” sitting at her computer reading your resume.
This person is probably either hungry, thirsty, or has a headache. Remember that when you choose your font and font size. Too small makes her squint and too large exasperates the headache.
Sir/Madam is acceptable. And/or is acceptable. Good morning/afternoon is not. The assistant knows and understands that she will be reading your email not at the exact moment you send it. If you put good morning/afternoon she will be concerned that perhaps you didn’t know what time it was or that you consider the hours of 11am – 1pm to be a vague time period of the day.
Proper grammar is a must. Unless she is a complete bitch, the “Assistant to So and So” is not going to care if you end your sentence with a preposition. However, if you have problems capitalizing your own name, your headache prone assistant is going to be concerned about sending on your resume to her boss.
Word. Document. That’s it. That’s the only format you should send your resume. Unless you are applying for a job with Apple or a trendy 20’s something owned corporation. Otherwise, your resume is going to a Dell that uses Windows. Don’t try to get fancy and use Word Perfect, either.
ONE ATTACHMENT! When you send your resume, send it in one attachment. If you send it in two, let’s say one of the cover letter and one for the resume, that’s tolerable but not appreciated. If you send FIVE ATTACHEMENTS the “Assistant to So and So” will look at your email angrily and go take her lunch break before even making a decision on where or not to forward your resume to her boss. See, she has to compile all those resumes at the end of the day into one or two emails. Your FIVE ATTACHMENT RESUME has to be turned into one document. You are wasting her valuable time reformatting your resume. She doesn’t like you. At all.
Your full resume should not be eight pages long. I don’t care how great it looks and how much it applies to the position you want. Cut it.

Assistant to So and So



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