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January 29, 2008

Posted by amberpeace in Uncategorized.


Since I moved back to Knoxville last May I have ignored all sound logic and never got a new therapist or psychatrist. I simply got my ANP to refill my prescriptions and lived off of pills. While the general population lives like this, thinking a pill is a quick fix to everything, I know that I need more than two little round tablets to help me find my place.
So I ignore and ignore and then life comes crashing. This is not a unusual phenomenon in my life. When I start to forget to take my medication, life conveniently also throws stress factors on top that are ranked high on the list of “things that can cause you depression and anxiety.” A new job, starting grad classes, and my grandmother passing away are just a few examples of life in the past few months – not the past year.
Cut to a few weeks ago when Jonathan decided that he couldn’t “give the emotional support” that I needed (his words) and I realized that I should probably start taking care of myself again.

Oh, he didn’t know that I wasn’t taking my meds. Now he does. Doesn’t change the story.

I’m working out at the U of Tee’s rec center, I’m seeing a therapist, and yesterday I finally got to see a psychatrist. He’s alright. Very business. Not too warm. He gets the job done, though. My medicine and symptoms were taken into account and I’ve been put on a new medicine. Lexapro. Like anytime a new SSRI is started, there are side effects.

Currently I am working at the speed of overfast – where my hands and eyes can’t keep up with what my brain wants to do. I’m a tad irritable and a little bit shaky. It’s only day two, so I have to give it at least a week. Unti then, I may just go run a marathon.



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